Skills & Ability
“This book is an instructional guide to learning and developing your mental skills. This is not a motivational speech or pep rally.”
It is too easy to overlook the pain, the disciplines, and the suffering required to refine this mental skill set. Mental skills are like every other skill; you must work and discipline your self to develop. Referring to these mental and emotional skills as simple motivation is to deny your own personal intellect and discount the thinking power and ability of your brain. It is your intellect that places you higher on the food chain. It is your ability to feel emotions that make you unique unlike any other creator on earth. Learning how to use this intellect in regulating emotions can be one of the most beneficial skills you will ever learn.
The good news, you’re already using these five mental skills already, though probably not very well, and as a result your emotions affect your decision-making. All we want to do is learn to become more aware of these mental skills, which in turn empower us to regulate the chatter.
In Dr. John Maxwell’s “21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”, we learn about the “Law of the Process”. This leadership law is defined as, “develop daily, not in a day”. This law helps us better understand the new journey you are on by learning to take thoughts and emotions captive. Everyday you will practice new levels of awareness to your inner thoughts. The fact we now have a science to confirm these skills, we can now assign responsibility. In other words, you are responsible for your inner thoughts and you will be amazed with your results once you learn to regulate.
The definition of “skill” is the ability to do something well. In sports competition, you must do it well and do it on demand and in the moment when the need arises. On a scale from one to ten for example, you may be a four on the skill metrics, with work you can improve. This is a natural development journey and one you are encouraged to take by applying these ideas in this book.
The new reality of sports competition however, requires the skill and ability in all three domains, physical, mental and emotional. The new-strong stay to play, while the mental and emotionally weak go home. Here is where developing physical and mental strength training goes hand in hand. It’s not just about practicing the physical game; you must now learn to develop the mental and emotional skills while practicing the physical game. In the new reality of today those who have the mental skills and ability to deliver under pressure are those that make the cut. Those that do not or have not yet developed this mental strength simply choke, end early and go home, frustrated.
Only a few get to dress, wear the uniform, and take the field of play. These are the ones that have developed the mental, physical and emotional skill-sets.
4.1.1 Guiding Principle: Transferable
At some point you will begin to understand these five skills are transferable. Yes, they’re going to help you in the game and in competition. They will also help you in the classroom and other domains in your life.
My greatest success story on this lesson is from a young man named Alonzo Moore. Alonzo was a 2011 graduate from Winnfield High School; we first met during his sophomore summer. He is a great example of how the mental muscle on the field, when recognized and regulated, can be transferred into the classroom. The same five skills Alonzo used on the field to earn a full ride football scholarship; he took into the classroom for even greater achievements. Now, as a result, he excels academically with the same success and consistency he does athletically.
“Think neither victory or defeat, think only on execution”
Dr. Jeff Garrison
4.2.1 Guiding Principle: 86,400 (86-4)
We have twenty-four hours in this day. The same amount of time broken down into minutes equals one thousand, four hundred and forty. Go one-step further, the same amount of time, broken down into seconds will equal eighty six thousand four hundred. What’s my point? It is at the seconds level that you need to learn awareness and regulation. We call this constant engagement of your skill sets. You will learn to flex this mental muscle on demand in the same way you would expect your body to flex and support you on a task.
Depending on what book you read, some psychologists will say it’s a one-to-one. For every second on the clock there is an internal conversation in your head. Even while sleeping, your subconscious chatter is still running. At times, the chatter often leaves the imprint of dreams you remember when you wake up. New science has proven that the average person engages in self-talk, the inner dialogue, at a rate of 300 to 1000 words a minute. This translates into 5 to 16 words a second!
Take this truth of fast, rambling chatter and consider another truth. The mind only holds one thought at a time. This is a lesson by itself. The mind thinks faster than what you can keep track in your cognitive thinking. The chatter (self-talk) is so fast that you can be sitting here reading this book and flashing back to earlier events in the day and still comprehends what you are reading. It appears like you are able to have multiple thoughts at the same time. Please, do not be misled science validates this truth, only one thought at a time. Even when multi-tasking, your brain holds one thought and is capable of shuffling these thoughts at pace faster than we can track or keep up.
Now, the million-dollar question, how much of your chatter is in your favor? How many of those thoughts flashing randomly through your head today are positive and respectful, encourage hope and optimism, inspire personal motivation and action, or help you navigate the known disruptive thoughts and emotional distractions?
“Are you talking to yourself with the utmost respect?”
How much of these internal thoughts, just from today, are beating you up? Here is where awareness is critically important and you begin to work on your self and regulating your chatter. We call this negative, toxic chatter, self-criticism. Allowing your chatter to remain unregulated is immature at best and this critical voice becomes an internal enemy. The mature, through skill development, learn to regulate the wandering thoughts and focus on self-evaluation rather than self-criticism. There is a big difference in your chatter when it comes to your personal performance and delivering results under pressure.
You can better understand this subtle, yet critical step in evaluating your thoughts when you learn more about the many roles your brain plays every day. Many of these roles we often take fore granted. One such role the brain plays is to protect you. It is very similar to a “security system”. That mass between your ears, one of the most complex things ever known to man, is pre-programmed to seek out the negative and find what went wrong. As you grow in awareness, you will find your chatter seeking, searching, replaying and pre-playing the threats and looking at what went wrong or what could go wrong in the future. And all of this goes on in your chatter with no effort from you.
4.3.1 Guiding Principle: Weeds
Just like the weeds in the garden, negative chatter grows on its own; it does not require your attention. You do not need to nourish these negative thoughts, like the weeds in the garden, the negativity in your self-talk will grow on it’s own.
Get over the idea your thoughts are going to be negative, you need not remain immature and struggle with this truth. It’s going to happen. It’s okay. You must take your inner dialogue captive; you must learn and grow your mental skills and practice these skills often. It is a discipline of the mind. It sounds simple. It is and you can do this. Always remember, what is simple is not always easy.
The same is true for nourishing the good thoughts. Similar to the garden you must nourish what is good in you; you must also learn to nourish good thoughts. The short story in this new journey is that you must learn to get both done, fight and nourish the chatter. Based on what you want to achieve and the feelings you wish to embrace, you must nourish the good chatter and draw on the positive and in the same way you must weed the negative chatter.
We can break these ideas of thoughts and emotions down to where it’s simple to know and understand. The real challenge comes when you start to apply these ideas day to day. When you’re out in your 86,400 seconds of the day and the pressure mounts, the stakes go up. You engage in competition or conflict. When there is real and relevant risk and you are going to lose something, maybe your job or position. When you are not making the grade and it’s all on the line. When the opposite sex seeks to distract you. When your brain chases lust and disruptive thoughts and emotions. These are the defined times when you must learn to apply your new mental skills. Your test is coming; it is part of the set up in life. When the stakes go up, if you are not right in your daily chatter a choke awaits.
“Tomorrow’s performance is determined by today’s chatter.”
Your next performance, whether it’s going to school and taking a test or going to practice to take your position, it all starts with regulating your chatter.