Mental Skill #4 – Discrimination
Definition: “The ability to prioritize the words and the mental pictures”
You understand thoughts come rapid; the chatter is often fast and furious. For those in my generation, you might remember the first screen-saver on your old computer called “star-field”. It was basically a dark space background with hundreds of white-dots that looked like little stars coming at you. Whether you set the speed for fast or slow, there were still a million stars coming off the screen at you, so similar to the thousands of thoughts with each passing moment.
You must learn how to prioritize your chatter. Discrimination means the ability to rank your chatter as it’s coming at you. For example, if you are sitting in a boring class or meeting you know that your mind will begin to wander off. You must decide what is most important in that moment and prioritize your thoughts. You must continue to prioritize which words and mental pictures are the most important and you must learn to do this all the time. It is a constant and continual skill you have to exercise, knowing there is competition between good chatter and bad chatter. In other words, bad chatter is a constant threat, and good chatter must always be on guard and only you can do it.
Determining which words are important enough to occupy your chatter is the critical mental skill of discrimination. It’s your choice to prioritize your words and mental pictures, given the desires and goals you wish to achieve. Get it done and prepare to be challenged. If you fail, your chatter will waste more and more of your time of each day. You need to know and understand how to build and achieve your goals daily by prioritizing your chatter.
A wise man once said, “the penny watches the dollar”. In other words, the little daily achievements add up to the larger achievements down the road. The little daily chats in your self-talk are the pennies that add up to the almighty dollar of achievement. This is a critical life lesson that applies to your personal daily agenda 86,400 seconds of every day.
9.1.1 Guiding Principle: Who’s responsible?
It is your chatter; you are responsible for the language in your mind. Only you can hold yourself accountable to what’s actually going on inside.
The only thing we know is what you say. If I were to ask you “what’s on your mind”, you can lie and no one would ever know, including you if you’re not careful. Only you are going to know what chatter you allow and whether it’s helping or hurting you. Only you know if you’re thinking about the right words and right mental pictures.
The mental skill of discrimination must be engaged, regardless of which window you find yourself thinking. Your chatterbox is running right now, as always. The “now” is so critical in building your awareness.
In the now, the present-window, you will find your thoughts flashing words and mental pictures replaying events from the past or pre-playing upcoming events from the future-window. You must reflect back with discipline, and prioritize which words and mental pictures you will allow. In the same respect, you must pre-play with discipline and prioritize which words and mental pictures support your performance.
The mental skill of discrimination is your ability to prioritize the chatter. Regardless of which window you are thinking the negative toxic thoughts will appear and it’s your ability to engage this skill that keeps you on track for future achievement. Remember, the mind can only hold one thought at a time. It is very important you regulate and prioritize which you allow to dominate.
9.1.2 Guiding Principle: Window of the future
This is very important as it pertains to your next opportunity to demonstrate your physical ability. You must learn to always win and see yourself achieving in the present and future-window.
There is another note worthy scene in Kevin Costner’s movie, “For the Love of the Game.” When it comes to discrimination, sometimes you’re going to have people in your world who say and do things that will work against your achievement. They simply will not see your ability to grow and achieve. Truth be told, they may be a distraction in your chatter and their words will keep popping up. They’re going to talk and use words that if you’re not careful, will get into your head and hold you back.
In this classic scene, Costner’s character is injured and he is working to recover so he can play one last career game. Costner is speaking with his trainer in a casual conversation when all of a sudden; the trainer slips up and not even paying attention, says, “If you make it back…”
Costner’s response is the exact tone and discipline you must carry when surrounding yourself with others. The final words of this scene, as Costner storms out of the room, “You said if, you said if I make it back. You either get your mind right and help me recover or don’t comeback here. I’ll do my job, you do yours!”
You are going to have people close to you, who are going to offer opinions and half-hearted effort and the fact is they may hold you back unintentionally. They will use words and offer opinions which will contaminate your thinking, but only if you allow it. Understand this concept; see those around you and learn to filter their words rather than struggle with conflicting opinions. When you develop your mental skills for achievement, you indirectly prepare yourself for the outside chatter and learn to prioritize it.
“Let no one’s opinion of you become your reality”
Let me say it again. I want you to write it down. Let no one’s opinion of you become your reality. Let no one’s opinion, be it words or mental pictures, penetrate your chatter where it becomes the dominant message. Don’t do it. Do not allow it to happen. If you are done, be done because you are ready and not because someone else said you are not good enough.
9.1.3 Guiding Principle: “80/20” Rule
The “80/20” rule applies to everything. If you want to become a better competitor, the “80/20” rule applies. If you want to become a better weightlifter, the “80/20” rule applies. If you want to be a better coach, a better father, a better son or daughter, a better spouse, the role does not matter. If you want more, apply the “80/20” rule to everything.
The best way to understand the “80/20” rule is in the form of a question. What are the few things (20%) that make the biggest difference (80%)?
One critical question you must learn to seek out in the chatter is what are the few things or the 20%. Given your past, given your poor programming, your handicaps, and everything else outside and in, what words and mental pictures do you need in the chatter that will make the biggest difference?
This is about your mental skill and ability to discriminate, prioritize the words and mental pictures in your chatter. The ability to regulate the self-talk and say, “that’s not important right now. Here’s what I need in my chatter, these are the few things I need in my chatter right here, right now.”
It is not a good priority to start beating yourself up after a task. It’s natural, yes, but beating yourself up will not qualify as one of the few things making a big difference in your success. You must learn to change the way you react to certain situations and poor performance. It’s a constant thing and you must learn awareness.
In our leadership class, we teach what is called a “task analysis”. This helps bring structure to your chatter. When you find your self-talk wandering and working against you, having the little dominos from your task analysis helps you to regulate and prioritize. Without the task list, you may continue to struggle in the chatter and never get past awareness. Awareness, by comparison, is simple. It is regulating that requires stronger and conditioned mental skills.
When you conduct your own task analysis, regardless of the task, you are breaking down all the little dominos or actions you must take to achieve and execute the task successfully (or in some cases, exceptionally well). As you define all the actions, by refining the task list, you will determine little sub-groups or sub-tasks that sometimes get hidden and are ultimately what’s holding you back. This refined list of sub-tasks will become your specific and prioritized words and mental pictures that help you grow and achieve the next level of performance. Learn to ask yourself often, “What is important to me? Given my desires and goals to achieve more what words and mental pictures support the vision?” This is how you put your mental skill of discrimination to work in your 86,400 seconds of the day so that your mental recorder captures and conditions for future performance.